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Chickens are mischievous, scary, unpredictable creatures that can snap and attack at any time. For that reason, it’s more likely you’ll find yourself running away from a chicken rather than chasing one. But on the off chance that you find yourself chasing after a rogue chicken, this next guide is for you.

There is only one step that you need to know about, which is the fact that you simply cannot catch a chicken. And the scientific reason for that is that they run at 9 miles per hour on average, while humans run at 8.6 miles per hour. So close, but, alas, such is life.